Every month, VANITY FAIR asks a different celebrity the questions known as THE PROUST QUESTIONNAIRE, but she didn't invent it. Who did? Who cares. The only reason Jennifer Anniston even knows about the questionnaire is because of the man Proust himself, who is not a famous psychologist, as you probably thought while reading VANITY FAIR on the toilet until you were 15, at which point you switched to "Remembrance of Things Past." In fact, Proust played this party game at his friend's Bat Mitzvah when he was 13 and then again when he got his braces off at the polished age of 20. (People lived longer then, so 20 was still 'young,' though not cool.) To see Proust's original answers, drive your horse and carriage to this link:
Then, QUESTIONNAIRE yourself, put it in a time capsule, and become famous in 7 years. Here's what to ask yourself, if you want to do it right:
1. What is your favorite virtue?
2. What are your favorite qualities in a man?
3. What are you favorite qualities in a woman?
4. What is your chief characteristic?
5. What do you appreciate most in your friends?
6. What is your main fault?
7. What is your favorite occupation? (hobby, habit, etc.)
8. What is your idea of happiness?
9. What is your idea of misery?
10. If you weren't yourself, who should you like to be?
11. Where would you like to live?
12. What is your favorite color and flower?
13. Who is your favorite prose author?
14. Who is your favorite poet?
15. Who are your favorite heroes in fiction?
16. Who are your favorite painters and composers?
17. Who are your heroes in real life?
18. What characters in history do you most dislike?
19. Who are your heroes in world history?
20. What is your favorite food or drink?
21. What are your favorite names?
22. What do you hate the most?
23. What is the military event you most admire?
24. What is the reform you most admire?
25. What is the natural talent you'd most like to have?
26. How would you like to die?
27. What is your present state of mind?
28. For what fault have you most toleration?
29. What is your motto?
Now you know yourself a little better. It's so worthwhile. You can do it on your friends, your grandparents, on dates, at parties when everyone is mad boring, or even use it as a crutch in a piece of fiction you're writing. Or, be creative! Waiters, zookeepers, the Good Humor man, or anyone else terribly mysterious and mildly beckoning for seduction. It's a lot less creepy than astrology because it almost sounds like regular-talky people.
If you get some tasty morsels in response, post them here. You'll basically become a celebrity because a lot of people post on and read this blog. Celebrity is a state of mind, if a state of mind is all about visibility. Capiche?
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