Friday, June 27, 2008
THE WAY OF THE WORLD
Interestingly enough, the latest poll has determined that 2 people take naps and 1 person does not. Even more fascinating, perhaps, is the finding that no one doesn't not understand what it means to be asked whether one does or does not take a nap. It pleases me to be able to present this wide and broad audience with such information, which I'm sure we can all find application for in our day-to-day comings-and-goings with friends, co-workers, and lovers alike.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
2 YES 2 NEW BLOGGIES
Wow! It's only Sunday and already the Internet has really taken off! Somebody! Somebody! Tell the Internet it can take a vacation!!! Really!
That's the problem. It can't. If it does, what will blogs eat?
This person is a master of chemistry in all the best ways! (think romanctically)
This person got her tongue cut out by a snake! Damn!
Two beauties. Please support the arts.
THE PROUST QUESTIONNAIRE
Every month, VANITY FAIR asks a different celebrity the questions known as THE PROUST QUESTIONNAIRE, but she didn't invent it. Who did? Who cares. The only reason Jennifer Anniston even knows about the questionnaire is because of the man Proust himself, who is not a famous psychologist, as you probably thought while reading VANITY FAIR on the toilet until you were 15, at which point you switched to "Remembrance of Things Past." In fact, Proust played this party game at his friend's Bat Mitzvah when he was 13 and then again when he got his braces off at the polished age of 20. (People lived longer then, so 20 was still 'young,' though not cool.) To see Proust's original answers, drive your horse and carriage to this link:
Then, QUESTIONNAIRE yourself, put it in a time capsule, and become famous in 7 years. Here's what to ask yourself, if you want to do it right:
1. What is your favorite virtue?
2. What are your favorite qualities in a man?
3. What are you favorite qualities in a woman?
4. What is your chief characteristic?
5. What do you appreciate most in your friends?
6. What is your main fault?
7. What is your favorite occupation? (hobby, habit, etc.)
8. What is your idea of happiness?
9. What is your idea of misery?
10. If you weren't yourself, who should you like to be?
11. Where would you like to live?
12. What is your favorite color and flower?
13. Who is your favorite prose author?
14. Who is your favorite poet?
15. Who are your favorite heroes in fiction?
16. Who are your favorite painters and composers?
17. Who are your heroes in real life?
18. What characters in history do you most dislike?
19. Who are your heroes in world history?
20. What is your favorite food or drink?
21. What are your favorite names?
22. What do you hate the most?
23. What is the military event you most admire?
24. What is the reform you most admire?
25. What is the natural talent you'd most like to have?
26. How would you like to die?
27. What is your present state of mind?
28. For what fault have you most toleration?
29. What is your motto?
Now you know yourself a little better. It's so worthwhile. You can do it on your friends, your grandparents, on dates, at parties when everyone is mad boring, or even use it as a crutch in a piece of fiction you're writing. Or, be creative! Waiters, zookeepers, the Good Humor man, or anyone else terribly mysterious and mildly beckoning for seduction. It's a lot less creepy than astrology because it almost sounds like regular-talky people.
If you get some tasty morsels in response, post them here. You'll basically become a celebrity because a lot of people post on and read this blog. Celebrity is a state of mind, if a state of mind is all about visibility. Capiche?
Thursday, June 5, 2008
MIRANDA JULY SNIPPETS AND CLIPS
A Shape Called Horse
Are You Anybody's Favorite Person?
Blonde Redhead
Someone else named Miranda singing a song about how beets grow on trees
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
THIS JUST IN:
DR. DACTYL, SET TO GUESTBLOG ON MONSTER HABITS, WATCHED THIS MORNING WITH TEARY EYES AS HIS VERY OWN BLOG HATCHED FROM A RATHER LARGE EGG. AFTER THE HATCHING, HE REACHED HIS FULL ARM INTO THE UTERUS AND PULLED OUT...
"THIS IS AS OFFICIAL AS A REFEREE WITH A WHISTLE. THIS BLOG IS GONNA GIVE YOU THE DAILY SCOOP-DI-SCOOP ON THE BASIC NECESSITIES OF LIFE: CARS. FASHION, MUSIC. BELIEVE IT OR LEAVE IT, YOU'RE GONNA LIKE IT."
WITH A TONGUE LIKE THAT, WHO NEEDS SPOONS?
HINTS FOR TRAVELERS: JAPAN
While in Tokyo, be sure to never ever blow your nose in public. It is seen as extremely rude and dirty. The people there are very, very, very, very helpful and kind, so be sure to let them know how much you appreciate everything they have done. When thanking people, make sure to bow your head a little. If you're not sure what we are describing here, you will see many people do it in the first 30 seconds of being in the country, and you will catch on quickly.
The drive from the airport into Tokyo is rather long, so don't worry. When you exit the taxi, don't close the door -- the taxi driver has a creepy claw that he uses to do that for you.
Things there are very expensive for Americans these days, so beware. For example, melons sometimes cost 210 US dollars because they are given as gifts. You should definitely go to the fist market, and get there early, like 7 am. At the fish market, there is a woman selling rice triangles wrapped in seaweed. You must try the soy sauce one. Actually, it is part of the requirement list for a trip to the Far East, so you HAVE to try one. Eat some mochi, and explore the bottom floor of the department stores. They are supermarkets filled with the most delicious things you could ever imagine.
We can't talk about Tokyo without talking about Hariuku. YOU MUST GO. If you're there on a Sunday, deeeeeeeeeeefinitely go to Harijuku. It's also good on all of the other days of the week, but amazing on Sunday. That's all we will tell you about it.
In closing, the subway is easy, the pastries are amazing (you might need pants with an elastic waist), and the people are the kindest we've ever met. Stay clean, be very grateful and overly thankful, and people will love you, although that is important for life in general. Have fun!
One love,
THE SNOOK
