MODEL HABITS, MODERN TIMES

I was recently on holiday and got to thinking about how being beautiful is a habit placed on those people whom we, as a society, deem 'attractive.'  By this I mean celebrities, the ones in the public eye who also have dazzling, sparking, effervescent eyes like gems set in crystal set in a glass of champagne.  You see, I saw a few of these celebrities. They are really just regular people who have regular habits, plus the additional PLUSH HABIT of being beautiful.  

I ate a mushy sub-par strawberry macaroon while chatting with Germany's Top Model while she ate a toothpick of tropical fruit.  I drank white wine like it was juice; she sipped on crisp champagne.  She wore lipstick and so did my mom.  We both speak alright English, it being our seventh language, discounting an ancient form of Jazzy Finger-Snapping that is now only read in university. That's pretty much where the similarities end.  Therefore, because I talked to a model, this edition of MONSTER H's will focus on MODEL HABITS.

There are lots of boring things we can say about models, as is our habit as regular people.  Instead, let's try to shine some positivity onto the world and talk about how great they are.  This is a list of top models and their most prestigious habits:

• Tyson Beckford: the music video to "Unbreak My Heart," in particular the shower scene and the fact that he rides a motorcycle. Ya'all knows what I'm talkin bout''!

• Amanda Moore: she demands that papparazzis say her name before snapping pictures of her, used to play basketball and drive a pick-up truck, once punched a man (i.e. what is known in the business as "a tough girl")

• Carmen Cass: habit of looking like Kaehlin from ANTM Cycle 3

• Agyness Deyn: habit of looking like Mia Kirschner, aka Jenny from The L Word Cycle 4 (short hair phase)

These are really all of the models I know. And by that I mean, "These are really all of the models I know personally." These are, personally, all of the models I really know.  Really know.  I have a habit of pretending to know things and then, when it comes down to it, failing miserably. Also the habit of getting really down on myself. And not believing I'll ever be as sassy as Tyra Banks or as brassy as Kathy Lee Griffin, or as pert as Mia Hamm and that shampoo/conditioner commercial. 

The truth, as either Christina Aguilera or PRESCRIPTION H put it, is that we are all beautiful, no matter what models say, and  IMG  can't bring us down. Sorry Tommy Mottola.  We're regular, and we're here to stay.