VISUAL RESOURCES FOR MODEL HABITS POLL

 TYSON BECKFORD

AMANDA MOORE, SUPERMODEL

CARMEN KASS, ESTONIAN

AGYNESS DEYN, CELEBRITY LOOKALIKE

NOT TYSON BECKFORD

MODEL HABITS, MODERN TIMES

I was recently on holiday and got to thinking about how being beautiful is a habit placed on those people whom we, as a society, deem 'attractive.'  By this I mean celebrities, the ones in the public eye who also have dazzling, sparking, effervescent eyes like gems set in crystal set in a glass of champagne.  You see, I saw a few of these celebrities. They are really just regular people who have regular habits, plus the additional PLUSH HABIT of being beautiful.  

I ate a mushy sub-par strawberry macaroon while chatting with Germany's Top Model while she ate a toothpick of tropical fruit.  I drank white wine like it was juice; she sipped on crisp champagne.  She wore lipstick and so did my mom.  We both speak alright English, it being our seventh language, discounting an ancient form of Jazzy Finger-Snapping that is now only read in university. That's pretty much where the similarities end.  Therefore, because I talked to a model, this edition of MONSTER H's will focus on MODEL HABITS.

There are lots of boring things we can say about models, as is our habit as regular people.  Instead, let's try to shine some positivity onto the world and talk about how great they are.  This is a list of top models and their most prestigious habits:

• Tyson Beckford: the music video to "Unbreak My Heart," in particular the shower scene and the fact that he rides a motorcycle. Ya'all knows what I'm talkin bout''!

• Amanda Moore: she demands that papparazzis say her name before snapping pictures of her, used to play basketball and drive a pick-up truck, once punched a man (i.e. what is known in the business as "a tough girl")

• Carmen Cass: habit of looking like Kaehlin from ANTM Cycle 3

• Agyness Deyn: habit of looking like Mia Kirschner, aka Jenny from The L Word Cycle 4 (short hair phase)

These are really all of the models I know. And by that I mean, "These are really all of the models I know personally." These are, personally, all of the models I really know.  Really know.  I have a habit of pretending to know things and then, when it comes down to it, failing miserably. Also the habit of getting really down on myself. And not believing I'll ever be as sassy as Tyra Banks or as brassy as Kathy Lee Griffin, or as pert as Mia Hamm and that shampoo/conditioner commercial. 

The truth, as either Christina Aguilera or PRESCRIPTION H put it, is that we are all beautiful, no matter what models say, and  IMG  can't bring us down. Sorry Tommy Mottola.  We're regular, and we're here to stay.

GUEST SPEAKER PRESCRIPTION H

Can You Become A Creature of New Habits? This is the question that has been tearing up the NYTimes' most-emailed list for the past week (after holding on to the top spot for a couple of days it is now at #16 -- clearly many businessmen and your roomates' mothers think that you need new habits.) Here are some quick facts:

• The article is about 1,000 words long.
  
• The first word in the article is "HABITS."
  
• The article is written by Janet Rae-Dupree.
  
• Janet Rae-Dupree writes about science and emerging technology in Silicon Valley.
  
• This article appears in the Business column "UNBOXED."
  
• The name "UNBOXED" is clearly biased against habits (and boxes) and the habit-practicing community.
  

Now that we are on our way, let me introduce myself. I am PRESCRIPTION H, and I am a big fan of habits. I read this article last week on my laptop (as is my wont) thinking that it would be a great source of new and exciting habits and places to find them. Instead, it's really about learning new THINGS, not new habits. This is different, you see. And, more alarmingly, it encourages readers of the Grey Lady to discard their old habits! I know, very disappointing. Feel free to read it, if you want, but be warned: it is filled with businessy new-age mumbo jumbo about what type of "learner" you are and how to lose weight by listening to a new radio station.

After you are finished reading it, or right now, check out some of these especially recommended habits:

• Coffee drinking
  
• Fingernail chewing
  
• Electrons orbiting a nucleus
  
• Punctuation
  
• Gravity
  
• Hats
  
• Chirping
  
• Saving change
  
• Thinking about your habits
  
• Magazine subscriptions
  

Note that the last habit is potentially a DOUBLE HABIT, in that (1) your magazine will habitually arrive in set periods of time and then (2) you will read it as part of your habit of reading magazines at coffee shops while chewing your fingernails. There is not time or space to discuss the certainly mind-blowing potentials of DOUBLE HABITS now, so we will shelve it for a later date (as is our wont, starting now).

So try out some of these new habits, or at least think about them. Who knows, you may already be habitually using punctuation or corresponding to the law of gravity! But don't discard any old habits; merely add these to your library. Your habits, dear reader, are beautiful, and they are what make YOU beautiful.

habitus et unum,

PRESCRIPTION H

INTRODUCTION TO HABITS PART II

If we really get right down to the crux of it, it becomes obvious that habits are simply things repeated over

time and space.

Stripes are a habit, as are Scottish plaid and the design that the Oreos make in a black and white milkshake.

Tessellations -- pictures where a mouse eats the same piece of cheese over and over again and again -- are also habits.  

Provided are a few examples for visual learners.

Habits also appear in art:

Rainman, Dustin Hoffman

always eating fishsticks

(as seen above)

Moneymaker, by Ludacris 

"I'm at the top of my game/

You want my hands from the bottom to the top of your frame/

And I just want to take a little ride on your curves/

And get erotic giving your body just what it deserves./

Now let me give you some swimming lessons on the p**is/

Backstroke, breaststroke, stroke of a genius"

One Art, by Elizabeth Bishop

"The art of losing isn't hard to master;

so many things seem filled with the intent

to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster

of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.

The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:

places, and names, and where it was you meant

to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or

next-to-last, of three loved houses went.

The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And vaster,

some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.

I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture

of love) I shan't have lied. It's evident 

the art of losing's not hard to master

though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster."

UPCOMING:

ANIMAL HABITS

 (puppies, kittens, penguins, horses, pigeons, and open to suggestions)

GUEST BLOGGER PRESCRIPTION H RESPONDS TO NY TIMES ARTICLE AND EXPLAINS THINGS WE DON'T KNOW WHILE AT THE SAME TIME ADDING OTHER THINGS TO THE LIST

INTRODUCTION TO HABITS

It is important to accept one's habits.  

I like to take pictures of my injuries, especially if they're bloody. Others might consider this a hobby or an activity that I enjoy (i.e. a hobby), and others after them might just call it a thing, but it's a habit.  There is no judgment in that statement. 

Habits are neither good nor bad; they just 'are,' in the same way that nosebleeds 'is'. 

If you want to keep your eyes out for some real good habits, here are the Monster's recs:

1) Drivers-Side Nosepickers
2) People Who Pick Their Scalp and Then Eat It (PWPTSATEI, like the tribe)
3) People Who Talk to Their Food
4) Nervousness
5) Salespeople offering discounts

This short list is intended to create a forum for open discussion. 

As you go about your day or your night, remember to keep your mind thinking constantly about your own habits and the habits of others. Then release yourself from those thoughts in this accepting community.